From Grief to Growth to Gift: How to Make Yourself a Priority and Feel your Best Again with Gina Perin

Paul Salter:

Hey, Gina, thank you so much for joining me today. How are you?

Gina Perin:

I’m great, Paul. Thank you so much for having me.

Paul Salter:

Yes, it’s wonderful to connect. I’ve been really looking forward to this conversation because, as I just told you before we hit record, I always like to do a big deep dive on social media and blogs and whatever else the internet will give me to prepare. But I have followed your content for a while and really think that we align on so many points. I’m excited to hear your viewpoint, your story, and your experience, and get to share that with everyone listening. So thank you again for being here.

Gina Perin:

Awesome. Let’s get to it.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. So let’s kick things off. Tell us and our listeners, in particular, a little bit more about you, your story, and what it is exactly that you do.

Gina Perin:

Okay. Well, really my story begins in 2010 because life threw me a big curve ball, which we all know that can happen. And on 2010, I’m engaged to be married after going through a painful divorce a few years prior to that. So we were planning a wedding and blending our families, four kids between us, right? And life was good, just very much into physical fitness, both of us at the time, which was great. And then, Christmas Day 2010, my brother took his own life.

Paul Salter:

Oh, my.

Gina Perin:

Yeah. And it was obviously unexpected and traumatic. And my brother, his name was David, his death set off a chain of events in my life and of course everyone else’s life that was involved, but I’ll just speak for myself, set off a chain of events in my life that I never saw coming. I thought I had everything planned out. I thought I could plan out my life just the way that I wanted it and nothing was going to upset that.

And boy, I was wrong. I’ll never say that again. Within six months of his death, my engagement was called off. I physically and mentally pretty much declined over the next few years, still having to take care of my kids and being there for my parents and the rest of the family, all of us having to come together. It was quite different. And within four years of his death, I moved across the country to LA. So started all over, new area, new place, new job, new everything. And I had gained a lot of weight. I had really stopped kind of taking care of myself and I didn’t recognize me. I had come so far from the person I had had been four years prior, and enough was enough. I got tired of it.

So I walked into a local gym. That’s the only thing that I knew what to do, right? I knew the whole gym life and I’m like, “Okay.” I had missed that. That never leaves you once that’s kind of into you. I was always an athlete, and it was one thing I knew to start feeling better. So physically got myself back into shape, found a mentor, got some help that I needed to mentally fix myself and went into coaching, health coaching, so I could reach a lot more people than in the gyms because I had… Oh, sorry. I had started teaching in the gyms.

Paul Salter:

Okay.

Gina Perin:

So I was a coach in the gyms. Yeah, skipped over that part.

Paul Salter:

That’s all right.

Gina Perin:

I ended up going back into teaching. I was a cycling coach. I was working for big box gym. And women and men were coming up to me and asking, “What do you do for this? What do you do for that?” asking my advice. So it led me back to school to go back and to actually get certified in health and wellbeing coaching based in positive psychology. And that brings us up to today, opened my own online business. That’s the brief overview. Of course, there’s a lot more involved than that.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. And we’ll get there. I can’t thank you enough for sharing that. I applaud your courage and your vulnerability. And I can tell you, I lost my best friend at 21, so that doesn’t even begin to compare to what you went through. But grief has such a potential stranglehold and power to consume us and to drastically alter the trajectory of our lives. And I can tell you personally, I repressed that death for about seven or eight years, and it came up one day unexpectedly in my first ever therapy session. I was like, “Holy shit. Where did that come from?” So just to hear that you have been able to find a gift on the other side, it makes me so happy. And it just shows how wonderfully hard you worked to just see the positivity. And that’s one of the things that attracted me about your social media is you just exude positive energy, and I bet your clients continue to feel that as well.

Gina Perin:

I appreciate that. Yes, hopefully they do. I do hear that. And thank you for sharing that, because to your exact point, this Christmas, it’s 12 years since he’s been gone. But I had that similar experience that you did. It took years, and then it started coming out because I didn’t address my grief and I wasn’t processing it in a positive way. Our mind and our bodies still know that that has happened and it’s going on inside, so it’s going to come out one way or the other. And it was coming out, for me, in a negative way: overeating, over-drinking, not taking care of myself all around because I hadn’t let that grief out. So to your point, yeah, and until that was addressed, I couldn’t start living the super positive life that I like to live.

Paul Salter:

Yeah, I agree. So that kind of brings a good segue into a question I really want to get your opinion on. So you said somewhere, and like I said, I don’t know if I found this on your website or social media, but I love what you said that, “I have found along the way there is so much more to fitness than just the physical. There is mental and spiritual fitness as well.” And just like you mentioned, many of the listeners, and myself included, have these athletic backgrounds, whether it’s just a gym background or playing sports when they were younger. The physical fitness isn’t the hard part, it’s the deep emotional work, it’s the psychological work. So tell us more, what do you mean by mental and spiritual fitness and how can we begin building each?

Gina Perin:

Oh, my gosh. That’s a great question. Okay. So I said I had moved here four years after his death. And shortly after I moved here, that’s when I was like, “I can’t take the physical.” I was overweight and just didn’t even recognize myself physically. And again, because of my fitness background, I knew how to fix the physical part, so that was easy. I went to the gyms and the weight started coming off and I started getting in shape again.

And that’s all great. And I was going home at night and crying most nights, having nightmares, right? And then, I started teaching. So there I am teaching these classes going in with a big old smile on my face and I was the positive instructor there, right? But mentally, I was not all positive anymore. Physically, I looked like this picture of health, but because I hadn’t addressed that grief, mentally I was falling apart.

And it was those last five pounds, your know your own body, what wasn’t coming off. And finally, I got tired of being so sad and being sad privately, privately not sharing that, not getting the help that I needed because I thought I could just fix everything myself. So when I reached out for help and started going and talking to somebody and getting all that out, like a miracle, which it’s not a miracle, but the last five pounds came off. I felt lighter. I started sleeping better because the mental part of my health was falling into line with my physical part, and it’s all so connected.

And I had gotten away from my spiritual side because I was a little angry. I was a little angry. Why did this happen to our family? And how did we not see that he was so sad or whatever? All those things, there’s a lot involved with that, right? A lot of guilt, a lot of sadness, and started connecting back with my own spirituality. And when all of those things fell into place, it was like I had found the old me. Everything had come back. I was not going to be truly happy with just physically being whatever the weight on a scale that you want it to be, right? If you’re not okay in your mind, you’re not going to feel your best. So I had to fix all of those components to really get to the point where I am today. And it’s a great place to be when those things all come together.

Paul Salter:

Yes.

Gina Perin:

It was much better than those sad days, I can tell you that for sure.

Paul Salter:

Absolutely. And you’re right, because when they’re in alignment, you feel fulfilled, you’re happy, you’re purpose-driven. There’s that utmost clarity that you’re in alignment with your authentic self. But as I know you know well, so many people go through the motions of just squarely placing their focus on trying to weigh a certain amount, wear a specific clothing size, or look a certain way. But just like your point mentioned and you’ve been through this as an example, regardless of weighing a certain amount, if you’re not happy, it’s not worth it. You don’t get happier losing X amount of more weight or wearing a different clothing size.

So I’m curious, you mentioned asking for help was one of the big catalysts to start rebuilding that mental fitness. Huge fan of asking for help, whether it’s therapy, coaching, community support, whatever it may be. For someone listening right now who is starting to really see themselves in your story, where maybe they chased all these physical goals but they’re still feeling unfulfilled, what would you share with them as a step to start building that mental fitness up again?

Gina Perin:

Yeah. Again, back to the, I walked into a gym to fix the physical part me because I knew how to do that. I knew how to eat properly just from all my training years before I knew how to exercise, right? But then, I had to get real with myself that I didn’t know how to fix my mental sadness. I didn’t know how to fix the sadness at night when I was by myself.

So I would encourage everyone to, and I have clients that come to me that they’re perfectly mentally happy but they physically are like, “I need help with my physical” and then I help them with that portion. What I encourage is everyone to really just think about the parts in your life that you’re really not happy with or that could use some improvement. And if you don’t have the skills to fix those or get some help in those, there are tons of people out there that can help, tons. This is what’s so great about the internet and even social media. There are people out there willing to help you with portions, too.

And I got real with myself. I’m like, “Okay. I don’t know how to fix this grief and the guilt that I felt from David’s death.” I didn’t know how to deal with it, and I knew it was coming out sideways and it was there in my subconscious. And so, I had to… And for somebody who was very type A, and I just felt like I could control everything, you have to sometimes get out of your own way and say, “Maybe I don’t have the skills to fix this.” And don’t be afraid to reach out to somebody to fix those, whether that be therapists, mentors. There’s Facebook groups you can join, people that are going through the same thing. Whatever you’re going through, somebody else is going through it, too.

Paul Salter:

Yes.

Gina Perin:

And there’s somebody out there that can help you. You’re never alone. We always think we’re the only one with a particular problem.

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

And then, wow. As soon as you reach out you’re like, “Yeah, okay. There’s billions of other people with the same issues.” Don’t be afraid to find those people that can help you.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. I love that. Asking for help is the single biggest catalyst to achieve the results you desire. And like you said, I love all of you listeners, but you’re not a unique, special snowflake.

Gina Perin:

No.

Paul Salter:

There’s a million people who share your challenge, your diet history, whatever other problem it may be.

Gina Perin:

No. You are not unique at all, hate to say it. “Oh, you have that problem? So does everybody else.” Right? But that’s a good thing.

Paul Salter:

Yes.

Gina Perin:

And I say it in a really, really positive way.

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

Anything, things you don’t think that are a problem. And like I said, that is the upside of social media. Hashtag any issue you have and you can find somebody that is going through the same thing or has been through the same thing, and you can learn from them or get help from them. It’s amazing, so I encourage you all just reach out with whatever issues that you’re having.

Paul Salter:

Yes, I love that. So tell us this then, because for someone listening, and this was a thought that kind of appeared in my mind, too, as we were having this conversation is, “Okay, we recognize we have a problem. We recognize asking for help, as hard as it may be, it’s probably our fastest solution out there.” But there’s a part of us, particularly I’m going to cater to mothers because that’s the bulk of our listeners, who feel that that might be selfish. They’ve got kids to keep alive, first of all. But also, they’re helping with them with their lives. They’ve got their own job, respective career, interests, whatever it may be. The last thing they feel like they can squeeze on their never ending priority and to-do list is self-care. How can we begin talking them out of that mindset and reframing it to something different?

Gina Perin:

Been there, done that, does not work. Whatever you are suppressing or not getting help with, I promise you, it comes out sideways. What do I mean by that? Overeating, lashing out emotionally. If something’s bothering, you’re going to take it out on the kids you’re supposed to be taking care of, or in some negative way, it’s going to come out.

Taking care of yourself first, and I know everyone’s heard this, taking care of yourself first allows you to be a better caretaker for anyone that you’re taking care of: kids, elderly, your spouse, your partner. You will be the better caretaker and the better mom if you are taken care of first. That way of thinking is the older generation. Today, I want to change everyone’s mindset on that, that you have to be the priority first.

Think about, what’s it? On the airplane, the masks come down. What do they tell you to do? Put your own fucking mask on first. You cannot help your kid that’s sitting next to you if you’ve passed out. It’s the same thing with your health. It’s the same thing. Your mental health, your physical health, you have to take care of you first.

And we have to stop saying, “I don’t have time.” We have time for the things that are important to us. And if you aren’t important enough to you, nobody else is going to give that time to you, right? You don’t even have to leave your house to get help and to join groups or listen to podcasts in your earbuds laying in bed at night. Whatever time you can find, put yourself first. It’s not selfish to put yourself first, self-care.

Paul Salter:

It’s selfless.

Gina Perin:

It’s selfless. That’s right. We’re changing that. And again, I love the whole analogy on the airplane because it’s absolutely true. “Let me save everyone else around me.” That’s what you’re doing, right? Without you taking care of you first, you won’t be there 100% to take care of anyone else if you haven’t taken the time to take care of you.

Paul Salter:

What are some examples you might recommend that are kind of low hanging fruit to begin demonstrating to ourselves that, “I’m a priority. This is the act of self-love I want to practice outside of the gym.” Because yes, we know that working out is a beautiful, wonderful, powerful thing, but let’s get a little more creative. What else can somebody do?

Gina Perin:

Yeah. If they’re just dabbling in it, just starting to dip the toe in, right, social media groups. There are tons of Facebook groups, challenges, short challenges that you can sign up for. That’s kind of the dipping the toe. Podcasts, exactly what I said before, those are easy ways that you can… You can listen to them in the car to and from school, taking your kids to school. Diving in, I’m doing a five-day clean eating challenge, totally free, coming up at the beginning of January just to learn how to eat a little cleaner, right? There are so many groups like that out there and little challenges that you can join if you don’t want to just commit to that going to the gym right away. Not everybody likes going to the gym. But it’s a great jumpstart if that’s what you’re referring to, just getting started.

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

And you’ll find that once you get started, it’s fun. And then, you find out about more groups or you find out about… You get recommendations from your friends. All of a sudden, when you start doing that, you’re manifesting to the world, you’re saying to the world, “Hey, I’m looking on ways to improve me.” And all of a sudden, it comes to you like magic.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. So tell me more about that. And obviously, the name of my business is 5% Community. I’m a huge believer in community. But you have a quote I wrote down that I again, scoured from somewhere that says, “Life is better shared. And I believe that when people come together to help each other out, we can conquer the world.” So how does this community approach play a role in accelerating results? What experience have you had with the power of community?

Gina Perin:

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I’m a huge fan of the power of community. But obviously, because I taught in gyms, they were like my family. They’re not just gym members. So again, you are who you surround yourself with, right? You’ve heard that before. You are the mixture of the five closest people that you constantly surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with positive people who put their health and their wellness first, it breeds more of that. It breeds the same.

Like I said, you join just one group on Facebook for even just a short challenge, a couple day challenge like I talked about, you’re going to meet people in that group that you become friends with. They could become lifelong friends, just online friends. And good activity breeds good activity. You start surrounding yourself with those type of people that put their wellness first, and that’s what you wanted.

Did you ever buy a car? And you’re like, “Oh, my god, my car’s so unique. This is amazing. Hardly anybody drives this car. I’m going to be the coolest one on the road.” And you drive it off the lot and now all of a sudden, every single place you drive, you’re like, “There goes my car. My car is everywhere.” Because you’re noticing it now. Those cars were always there, right? There are people out there that are your tribe that you don’t even know about yet until you reach out and you go and you put yourself in those places. Then, all of a sudden, your whole world opens up. It opens up. And like I said, start small. You don’t have to… Start small. Start with one group. Yeah, that’s all I can say about that.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. I like that, because when you surround yourself with a group of like-minded people, more often than not, you get people at various stages and ages of the journey. So you have those who, they all share the same challenge of frustration that you might have joined with in the first place, but someone might be a little further ahead of you so you can gain wisdom and feedback from them, which accelerates your results. Or conversely, when you’re a couple weeks, months, years into your journey and someone new enters your tribe, now you get to give back. So the act of teaching is a further way to solidify all that you’ve learned, further ingrain it, and also bolster motivation to keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working. And now, you’re being kind of in this role model spot, which is another great position to be in.

Gina Perin:

You become the mentor. It’s amazing. And like I said, you open up a world that you didn’t even know about and find those like-minded people. And I’ve made lifelong friends that I never expected to make. And I’ve learned so much from people that I didn’t even realize that I would learn from them. And going back to, yeah, you’re not snowflake. You’re not unique. You’re not unique. There are people out there going through the exact same things, whether, “Well, I have two and four-year olds. I’m too busy to do this.” Okay. There are lots of people out there with two and four-year olds doing things that maybe you wanted to do or taking care of themselves physically.

This is what I love so much about the technology that we have today. We live in such a great time for that. I know there’s a lot of negative sides of social media. I tend to always look at the positive sides. I’m talking to you in Florida and I’m in LA, and we’re very like-minded people, right? And so, you start attracting your tribe. You start attracting what you’re thinking about. And if you’re thinking about improving yourself and being more positive, you are going to find it.

Paul Salter:

Yes. No, I love that. Slowly, the right people, the right books, podcasts, resources, kind of enter your personal ecosystem and they, too, serve as catalysts for growth or ascension into that next best version of you. Which speaking of, you specifically help people to truly step into that next best version of themselves, to live their happiest, their healthiest lives. In all the work that you’ve done and the people you’ve worked with, if you had to distill it down to the two biggest ways that people get in their own way, what have you observed in all of your coaching experience? How are we getting in our own way?

Gina Perin:

Getting in our own way? I think I mentioned it earlier, telling themselves that big lie of, “I don’t have enough time.”

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

That is probably number one. I hear that day in and day out from all new clients. “I don’t have time.” And then, miraculously, we find a lot of time for them to improve, which is really, really cool. So stop using that language. When you say it you believe it, and it becomes ingrained in your brain. Just get rid of it. Get rid of the, “I don’t have time.”

And second, really, people getting out of their own way. For women, my women clients, again, not wanting to put themselves first, to your point, a feeling of guilt of putting themselves first. I get a lot of that because they feel like they’re taking time away from whoever they should be caring for or running their family.

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

Yeah, that one’s a big one. That’s a big challenge for me to get over that hump. When talking to women, I’m like, “You need to just step aside and clear that out,” because again, we need to change that whole narrative.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. And obviously, I think most people, if not everyone listening, logically understands that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Gina Perin:

Sure.

Paul Salter:

So what is some of the first teaching points or strategies you recommend to the women you work with who come to you and say, “There’s not enough time in the day,” but more importantly, “I feel guilty putting myself first.” How do you begin breaking down that limiting belief?

Gina Perin:

Oh, that’s a good one. I have my clients do a lot of writing.

Paul Salter:

Oh, I love it.

Gina Perin:

So it’s very interesting. And I don’t mean just writing out a book and chapters, but lists, and listing out, “Well, what do you do from this time to this time? And what is it?” And when they start writing out and not changing anything, my favorite thing is I don’t have them change anything for the first week or two. “Don’t change anything. You’re not changing your eating habits. You’re not changing what you’re doing. But you’re writing out what you do. What are you doing with this time since you don’t have enough time for yourself?” Right? And then, when you step back and they’re looking at when you actually have to look at what you’re doing with your time and how you’re taking care of yourself, it becomes a little different than… Almost 100% of the time, it’s different than what they actually thought.

Paul Salter:

Yep.

Gina Perin:

People in general, just in general. “I have no time,” but you watch 20 hours of television a week or whatever it is, whatever it is, right?

Paul Salter:

Wow.

Gina Perin:

Because again, we just believe what we’re saying until we actually take a look at it. So that’s what I mean by writing. So first of all, the very first step is figuring out, “What are you doing right now? What are the current habits? Okay, what’s not working?” And start shifting that.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. I love that. I’m a huge fan of giving homework, as I think some people in our community call it.

Gina Perin:

I do.

Paul Salter:

Or action steps, exercises. I tend not to use the word homework, but it really is. It all serves the purpose of bettering yourself or reaching your goals. But I’m a huge proponent of writing, too. If you saw my house, there are sticky notes on every wall or countertop, maybe because I’m forgetful. But I also like to think I have good ideas or just need the reminders.

But just the act of writing it gets it out of our brain. And I think what’s really cool when we write something out is it gives us a chance to create space from it, because we are all guilty of being our harshest critic. And the words we use to speak to ourselves are not words we would use to talk to a child or a best friend. But when we write it and we can see it visually in front of us, it creates just enough distance to be able to see the problem differently, which often can be a catalyst for positive change.

Gina Perin:

A hundred percent. So everybody who, as soon as you start working with me, I’m like, “I’m going to let you know right now. Hopefully you have sticky pad notes or you have a notebook and you have a pen.” The whole typing it out is completely different. I have sticky notes all over my house, too, so we are a hundred percent on the same page with that.

Paul Salter:

Wow.

Gina Perin:

And again, even just writing it out, you take a step back and you read it after a week, even your schedule and everything, you start to see patterns. And my clients start to see patterns and they’re like, “Oh, I didn’t realize that” or “Okay.”

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

Look, most people aren’t rip off the band-aid and just completely change your life 100%. Like, “Okay, we’re just going to change everything. We’re going to change your eating habits. You’re going to start exercising seven days a week.” You’re going to fail, right? So it’s just, “Let’s start with the easier stuff” and then that usually helps get that ball rolling. “What are some of the things that we can just tweak a little bit here?” Like sleep. Sleep is the number one thing you can change and see immediate results. If you’re sleeping four hours a night and I see that, I’m like, “Oh, boy.” And they’re like, “I’m foggy. I’m tired by the afternoon.” Okay. You can’t lose 20 pounds in a day, but you can start feeling a whole lot better if you change your sleep within days.

Paul Salter:

Yeah.

Gina Perin:

So yeah, huge fan of writing it down. It solidifies it on paper, doesn’t it?

Paul Salter:

It totally does.

Gina Perin:

Totally.

Paul Salter:

So I also see that, and I think we share this in common, too. You’re just a big fan of just silence and quiet time, selfish time as we kind of alluded to earlier, if you will, or also selfless, self-love time. Tell me a little bit more about how do you incorporate whether it’s silence or stillness or that just blissful place of quietude into your day?

Gina Perin:

That’s easy. The car, that became a real big one. And for everybody listening here, this is something that you can just try on your own and see a big difference even in a couple days. So every time I get in the car, I take one to three minutes, and before I get out of the car, I take one to three minutes. If you can do that, start with one minute. Just start with one minute.

Instead of jumping in your car, turn it on, belt, and flying away, put your seatbelt on. It’s fine, start, the car. The car needs to warm up. Just sit there and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Think about where you’re going or think about what you’re about to do. Think about nothing. Just feel your breath. Just give one to three minutes and then take off. And again, the same thing before you get out of the car, before you’re going anywhere. You will notice that you are much calmer. You’ve completely calmed down your nervous system. You’re no longer in fight or flight, “I’m busy. I’m running off.” Look, you have one minute. I don’t even care if you’re late. You have a minute. If you’re late, you’re already late. Nothing’s going to change that, right? So just take a minute.

That’s where I find a lot of my quiet time. I stopped listening to the radio. That’s just me. I either listen to podcasts or try driving in silence just for a little bit. You’ll see what works for you. And again, I do that same thing when I lay down at night and before waking in the morning, if you just take a couple minutes. You don’t need to pray if you’re not somebody who prays, but just take a few minutes of silence. You will find that you can’t do without it. Once it becomes a habit, you feel very rushed and overexcited when you don’t take those few minutes, especially with the car thing. That was a really, really big one for me. And I find that most clients absolutely love that.

Paul Salter:

Yeah, that’s a great one. I’m going to start using that, especially, if you’re listening and you have kids and you’re running them to and fro all to of their events and commitments.

Gina Perin:

Yeah.

Paul Salter:

You’re in the car a lot. So the way we can positively reframe that is now you have multiple opportunities to practice self-care throughout the evening, which might have otherwise been viewed as a very stressful part of your day.

Gina Perin:

Multiple times, yes, especially if you have kids. Look, okay, I understand if you’re like, “No way, Gina, not doing it when I’m piling three kids in a car, they’re all screaming.” Fine. But you’re dropping them off somewhere. So when they get out of the car, there’s always some sort of time. If you are doing this just once or twice a day, this is once or twice you weren’t doing it before. And I promise you, you’ll be like, “I feel really good.” It’s just a reset. It’s just a reset to just to enjoy a little bit of quiet time.

Paul Salter:

I love that, because at our core, we are human beings, but we’ve been conditioned to become human doings. And we’re so guilty of just doing one event to the next. Go go, go, go, go. And I love that you used the word reset, because just 60 seconds of focusing on your breath, it’s a chance to shut your brain up for a minute, to recharge your batteries, your emotional, physical, and mental energy, so that you can then go show up and shine your brightest at whatever next commitment is on your schedule. But you’ve got to slow down. It’s that peace and quiet and that stillness that really invites in connection with your highest self, an opportunity for clarity, creative problem-solving, whatever it may be. So you need to seek the stillness and the silence.

Gina Perin:

Yes. And moms, one more because this is really huge. The bathroom, I’ve used the bathroom as an excuse, I can’t tell you how many times. I’m like, “I’m going to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.” At a party, at wherever, if there’s a lot of commotion and I’m feeling a little bit stressed out, nobody questions you. You get to go in there by yourself, you get to close the door. Okay? The kids are freaking out. “I’m going to use the restroom.” Just go in there and close the door. That is your just few minutes to yourself. Again, try to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and just imagine all your insides being nice and calm. And you’re completely reset by the time you leave that bathroom. You can go back into the chaos, but you will react differently to the chaos, and that’s the whole point of it.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. I absolutely love that. Yeah, the bathroom is a hidden gem of a strategy, so please take her up on that.

Gina Perin:

Nobody argues with that.

Paul Salter:

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You should never have anyone arguing, I agree. That’s fantastic, easy little getaway.

Gina Perin:

Right.

Paul Salter:

Awesome, Gina. So I want to end our conversation on this note. So we’ve had a tremendous conversation right now, and someone listening, is a mom. They’re struggling to make themselves a priority. They are struggling to even see how it’s worth putting themselves first, but where they’re really struggling is to get over that self-imposed barrier that they don’t have time. So just kind of circling back to close things up on that particular aspect of our discussion, what is one piece of advice you would recommend to someone out there listening who just still is convinced she doesn’t have the time to put herself first?

Gina Perin:

I challenge you to join a group, like I said, on Facebook, on anywhere. Anywhere that you’re on, join a group for just a short little challenge or start listening to some positive podcasts in your car. Do one little thing. It does not have to be huge. Just do one little thing.

The breathing, like I said, either in the car or the bathroom, it’ll get you started. You have to start somewhere. You have to start somewhere, and one to three minutes, anyone can squeeze one to three minutes for themselves at least once a day, right? So start small, and when you feel the positivity from it, go from there. Start with something else.

And again, there are people that are going through the same thing, that have the same responsibilities as a mom. Find them. When you start reaching out, you’ll see the universe respond to you. They’ll respond, and all of a sudden you’ll get introduced to more things. But first, just take those few minutes to yourself.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. You got to fucking start. I love it.

Gina Perin:

You’ve got to start. You have to. It’s imperative.

Paul Salter:

Oh, I know. I know.

Gina Perin:

I want to shake the moms, “Come on. You are first. When did you become last? You didn’t become last just because you became a mom. You do have certain priorities, but you’re way up on that list. So you’ve got to make sure that you’re up there.” So again, if you really feel like you don’t… Stop saying, “I don’t have time,” and take a few minutes to breathe. Take a few minutes to breathe. Lock yourself in the-

Paul Salter:

Go make the time. Create the time, in the bathroom if you need to, but just create it.

Gina Perin:

Create it. That’s right. Yeah. It’s there for you. It’s there for you.

Paul Salter:

Well, thank you so much for sharing this conversation with me, Gina. Where can our listeners go to connect with you, learn more about you, and get all of your fantastic resources?

Gina Perin:

Oh, they can find me everywhere. Ginaparin.com. They can head to my website and sign up. I have a free ebook, 12 Healthy Habits for Mind, Body, and Soul. It’s completely free. And that way, they’re signed up for my monthly newsletter. But they can find me on all the social media platforms: Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Gina Perin. I do a lot of lives and I have, like I said before, a free five-day clean eating challenge is starting the Saturday after the new year. So what a great way to just get together with other people that want to eat clean and learn something new and it’s completely free.

Paul Salter:

Yeah. I love it, outstanding. So thank you so much for joining me today. I really appreciate it and enjoyed the conversation.

Gina Perin:

Thank you so much for having me, Paul. I appreciate it.

Paul Salter:

Absolutely. Yeah. And for everyone listening, thank you for being here today. Go follow Gina, check out all of her great content. Like I said, I followed Gina for a long time before we made this conversation happen. She puts out phenomenal content. And most importantly, I think you do a great job of not only maintaining positivity, but you’re a human, you’re relatable. You’re not this perfectly scripted robot, and that’s what people are looking for. So make sure you follow Gina.

And go ahead, if you found today’s episode valuable, take a minute to share it with a friend, family member, or loved one who you know may resonate with Gina’s story and definitely appreciate and benefit from her wisdom. And if you haven’t done so already, 30 seconds is all it takes to leave a genuine rating and review on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you are listening to today’s episode. Thank you again for listening. Have a wonderful rest of your day. And as always, screw the scale.