If This Happened Tomorrow, Would Your Life Really Be Any Different?

Paul Salter:

If you woke up tomorrow morning and just like you do every day, you turned off your alarm clock, you kissed your significant other, you pet your dog who’s taken up way too much space in the bed with you two. You moseyed on over to the bathroom, you used the bathroom, and then you stepped on that scale and all of a sudden you saw the number that you’ve been working toward, dreaming about for years appear on that clunk of metal. Would your life really be any different?

Hey, I’m registered dietician Paul Salter, and you are listening to Screw the Scale Radio. If you’ve been losing and regaining the same 20 pounds and struggling to have a positive relationship with food and a loving relationship with yourself, you’re in the right place. Ready to get out of your own way and truly feel and look your best? Buckle up as I dive deep beyond the nutritional X’s and O’s to teach you how to build massive amounts of self-confidence, self-love and self-trust so that you can not only lose the weight you desire and keep it all for good, but truly feel your best.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Screw the Scale Radio. My name is Paul Salter and I am thrilled to be hanging out yet again in your earbuds or wherever you are listening to this show. Thank you so much for being here. I’m excited. And to be frank, I’m just going to dive in because today I have three quick things to share with you. I am going to share a very stark reminder. I’m going to share a very relatable analogy and I’m going to share a story. And I think it’s pretty clear what I’m referencing in the title of today’s episode.

And I posed the question at the very beginning of this episode. If you were to wake up tomorrow morning and finally see the dream weight you’ve been chasing for God knows how long on the scale, would your life really be any different? Strategic pause. I’m letting you ponder this. I want you to ponder this. I want you to chew on it, sit on it, and really think about it. If you woke up tomorrow morning and magically the scale was 20 pounds less than what it’s been saying for the past couple of years, would your life be any better? Would it be any different?

Honestly, and I don’t want to speak for you, I don’t want to put words in your mouth. For a day, couple days it might feel pretty good, but when we take a big step back, your life is not going to be drastically different all of a sudden just because you see a lower number on the scale. Again, your life will not be significantly different tomorrow if you see a new lower number on the scale. Yet so many of us are hypnotized by this false belief that if we can just get to a lower number, our life is magically different.

And this is the message I really, really want to drill into you in today’s episode. This is the message or the stark reminder is your life will not be any different. You won’t be any happier if you wake up tomorrow and see a lower number on the scale. That simply is not going to happen. And the relatable analogy I’ll share with you is simply this. Think about the, I don’t actually really don’t know how many people, but let’s say tens of thousands of people who have won the lottery over the years, who have literally won life changing, generation, family changing amounts of money, and within three to five years they’re bankrupt.

I mean, at first thought, shit, if you put hundreds of millions of dollars in my bank account tomorrow, I have a pretty good feeling life is going to be good. I’m going to be incredibly happy. My life is going to be that much more joyful, fulfilling, blissful, and happy. But the truth is, that is all going to fade because I did nothing to earn that money just like you did nothing to earn that weight on the scale, that number on the scale, that physique in the mirror. There is no process, no journey, no hardship to overcome.

So the chances are yes, I’m going to experience a short term increase in happiness in all of those positive feelings with having more money in my bank account, being able to do the things I desire and help those I love and care about and the causes I believe in. Just like you might find all of a sudden now you can wear that outfit, now you can have that conversation, now you can go wear your bikini, your bathing suit, go have this experience, go do whatever you’ve been holding back from doing because of the number on the scale.

But the truth is, when all is said and done, you are not going to be any happier because it never has been and it never will be about the number on the scale. Yet, yes, despite the fact that you have worked tirelessly to attain a specific number on the scale, yes, despite the fact that you’ve spent countless hours, energy, tears, dollars pursuing this specific number on the scale, it’s literally never been about the number on the scale. And this preconditioned misguided goal, to be candid, it’s been the driving force behind the irrational, these short-term decisions and actions that collectively have prevented you from achieving permanent weight loss.

And I mean, truth be told, let’s place the blame on the diet industry. They’ve conditioned you to set the wrong type of goal. They’ve conditioned you and convinced you to chase an arbitrary metric of beauty, of worth, a validation of success that is rooted in not only a height, a shape, a bust, a size, but also a range of numbers on a clunk of metal. It doesn’t make any sense. And you just like me, have responded in the only way you know how by taking actions that you have been led to believe will most likely help you achieve that number on the scale, which supposedly comes with more worth, happiness, validation, attraction, connection, attention, energy, whatever it may be.

And sadly, it is that belief, that misunderstanding, misconception that has left you stuck feeling not only maybe rooted in this weight loss or weight regain and cycle that is taking over your emotional, mental, psychological and physical wellbeing, but it’s left you feeling stuck in feelings of overwhelm, defeat, disgust, frustration, anger, sadness, and that is not where you want to be. It never has been and never will be about the number on the scale. You’re not seeking to weigh whatever your current goal weight is, 175 pounds, 185 pounds. You are seeking to feel a specific way.

You’re seeking to feel confident, in control, at peace, sexy, healthy, energetic, and strong. Behind every goal in life, whether it is health, financial, or career driven, there’s always a feeling that you are chasing and that comes by going through the journey and the process. But you can’t go through and along the ride of the right journey without getting incredibly clear on how you want to feel. So that therefore, once you’re clear on how you want to feel, you can effectively align the most efficient action steps to accelerate having those feelings.

And the beautiful thing is, and this is for a different discussion, is you can choose to feel that way today. You can consciously commit to choose confident, choose to feel confident, strong, in control, at peace, healthy, energetic, sexy. It’s choice, but you got to get clear on how you want to feel. You’ve got to get clear on how you want to feel. Seeing some arbitrary number on the scale that’s 20 pounds lower than you have been weighing for some time on the scale tomorrow, it’s not going to change your life. It is absolutely not going to change your life.

And I want to end with a quick story. I want to share this story to show you how common and relatable this path of misguided scale rooted goal setting is and how out of aligned action is not serving you. So I’m going to introduce you to a friend of mine, long-term member of the 5% community named Julie, who is a 55-year-old married mother of three adult children who literally summarized her dieting history to me as, and I quote, “25 years of extreme restrict binge cycling.” Maybe you can relate.

Julie told me that she joined the 5% community looking for advice, guidance, and community to help her stay focused on the goal of losing weight, learning to keep it off and getting past the diet mentality and the shitty relationship with the scale that she had been stuck in for so long. So during our onboarding process, I asked Julie to specifically describe what success looked and felt like six months from now. And she shared with me that her hope was, and I quote, “To have loss at least 20 pounds, and for my weight loss to be evident to myself and others.

This is important to give me confidence that my investment of time and money was worth it.” And shortly after sharing this with me, what’s really interesting is Julie felt a little more comfortable. So she followed up with me and informed me that she hadn’t been truthful. She said she actually preferred to lose more than 30 pounds, but she would settle with 20. Ever since Julie was a little girl, she had it impressed upon her that her weight shouldn’t exceed a certain limit. She never quite understood why or who the person was who kind of set that limit.

But she let these external forces begin to shape herself talk, her belief about herself, the story of who she was and whether or not she was worthy or deserving. It shaped her habits. And eventually these collectively cultivated the identity of someone who operated from a place of fear. She was fearful of weighing too much, being too big and being unlovable. Her biological need to belong, which you and I both have, drove her to do what everyone else was doing to belong, cycling through periods of restrictive meal plans and fad diets, interspersed with periods of eating whatever the fuck she wanted because the restriction had worn her down emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

And all of this was done in the name of seeing a number on the scale. A number that she believed to find how lovable, worthy, beautiful, and successful she was. And this pattern went on for literally decades. She operated under the belief that if she could just see a number on the scale, specifically she had one number in mind that she used to see just prior to having her first child or being pregnant with her first child, then she would finally be at peace and all of a sudden have this collective sense of happiness and confidence, which had been eluding her four years.

So naturally, she continued to try every tactic she knew of to pursue that number, even though in reality she didn’t want to weigh that number. She wanted to feel lovable, confident, in control, and at peace, confident in who the fuck she was, and that she was worthy of all that she desired. Through compassionate communication and asking the right questions, I was able to glean what it was Julie actually wanted. And again, she wasn’t seeking that number on the scale. And we learned that the reason she was so emotionally attached to that number was she thought, or she remembered, excuse me, weighing that amount prior to becoming pregnant with her first child.

Which when she was taking care of herself, she felt so madly in love, worthy, valued, in control, and armed with this newfound awareness, we were able to begin taking actual effective action steps to help her feel that way now, not delaying feeling that way until after she reached that arbitrary metric. And what happened next, fucking incredible. It may shock you. I mean, we spent nearly five months, like 150 days, not trying to lose weight, not making adjustments to create a calorie deficit. Yeah, seriously.

Even though her original goal was she wanted to lose 30 pounds, we spent five months not seeking weight loss whatsoever. We focused instead on working to improve her relationship with herself and doubling down on really learning how to take new behaviors, transform them into habits that cultivated feelings of worth, love, confidence, peace, and control. And of course, this was not easy to say the least. There were incredibly taxing weeks as emotions, limiting beliefs and self-defeating thoughts were unearthed from her subconscious.

And it took extra communication during periods of radio silence and accountability from multiple angles to continue more moving forward toward her goal. But during our six-month check-in call, which at this point, Julie was four full weeks into her first dieting phase, this is what she said to me. And I quote, “While my goal is to lose 20 pounds, I’m satisfied with where I am today and I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t lose more weight.” The woman who had been desperately trying to lose weight for 25 years, the woman who admitted she wanted to lose at least 30 pounds, who was ashamed to admit it was now down in four weeks of dieting, a mere five pounds.

Yet genuinely at peace with herself, her body, and her weight, despite technically being quite a long way from her original weight loss goal. Julie was able to begin detaching from a goal that she’d been working toward for years, that number on the scale, because she did the work to understand what she was really seeking was a feeling, feelings of confidence, feeling worthy, lovable, in control, and at peace. And with the support, the coaching, the accountability within the 5% community, Julie was able to identify what behaviors that when done consistently led to her feeling this way so she could double down on them and execute them regularly.

It had never been about the scale for Julie and it’s never been about the scale for you. If you wake up tomorrow and you see your goal weight magically appear on the scale, your life will not be any different. You need to get incredibly clear on how you desire to feel so you can appropriately align the most effective action steps to bring those feelings to fruition now. And I’m excited for you, and hey, you deserve it. You deserve the happiness and all that you desire right now, regardless of that number on the scale.

But I’ll tell you this, what’s really fucking cool is when you start prioritizing the actions you know lead to how you want to feel, the weight begins to magically fall off far easier than it ever has before. Because you’re prioritizing self-care and the most important relationship in your life, which is the relationship with yourself. If you need the coaching, you need this high energy in your ear every step of the way, the accountability, the support and the community of like-minded women to get out of your own way and finally rebuild your relationship with yourself, develop massive amounts of confidence, control, peace, and to really cultivate limitless feelings of sexiness, health, healthiness, energy, strength, and just again, genuine wellbeing, peace of mind, the 5% community is a wonderful fit for you.

So reach out to me on Instagram at Paul Salter coaching. Send me a DM 5%. I’m happy to reach out, have that conversation with you, and share more about what our transformational community and experience looks like and how it can help you.

Thank you so much for listening with me today. I genuinely appreciate you. And if you found today’s episode valuable and somebody else would benefit from this reminder, analogy and relatable story, please share this story, this episode with him. And if you haven’t done so already, it takes 30 seconds. Leave a genuine rating and review on Apple Podcast or wherever you’re listening to this show. This helps me grow the show, which is one of my goals, and put my message and the story in front of more people just like you. Thank you again for listening today.

I sincerely appreciate you. Have a wonderful rest of your day. And as always, screw that scale.