The 4-Step Process to Build Massive Self-Confidence

Paul Salter:

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the 5% Way Podcast with your host, registered dietician, Paul Salter, coming at you today with a really fun, exciting episode to demystify, simplify, and deconstruct a four step proven formula to feel an abundance of confidence in every area of your life. And I’ll tell you this, I have asked the question or some variation of the question, “How do you wish to feel waking up every single day to hundreds and hundreds of men and women?” And the number one adjective that is shared with me is confident. And for many of us, we experience brief bouts of confidence that kind of come and go in the blink of an eye. But we can all reflect and think about that certain someone in our lives who seems to possess kind of an uncanny amount of confidence. And between you and me, we have a couple people in our lives who have so much confidence and is confidence it is a detriment to them.

But that’s neither here nor there. And if you’re like me, you too wish you could walk around with more consistent confidence because confidence is contagious. It’s also addictive. And when we possess it, we feel as if we can do and accomplish the impossible. And fortunately for you, fortunately for me, we can really deconstruct the process of developing more confidence into four specific steps, four specific steps that even start with the letter C. You know how I feel about my acronyms, my redundancies, my repetition and alliteration. So couldn’t… I actually did a little the sourcing this morning to find one word that started with a C that was a good synonym so I could pull all of this together and call it the four C model of building and breeding more confidence because that is how I roll. But before we dive into this episode, just a quick reminder, it’s November 2022, the day that this episode in particular is published.

I don’t know when it is you’re listening, but I really want to cater to you if you have already started thinking about your 2023 goals, what you hope and wish to accomplish, and remind you that you have nearly 50 days right now remaining in 2022 to get a head fucking start on being the best version of yourself in 2023. Why are you waiting for the arbitrary start date of January 1st, 2023 to begin doing the work, to feel better, to look better, and to simply be better?

There is no time like the present and you can get a massive head start leg up on past versions of yourself who decided to wait until the calendar year turned and really hit the ground running with a beautiful stride, leaps and bounds of progress when the calendar does in fact turn to 2023. And if I could help support you in any way when it comes to tackling sustainable weight loss, feeling better, developing an abundance of self confidence, self-love, self-worth or self-trust. There’s a handful of action steps you can take that further detail how I can best show up, serve and support you found in the show notes of today’s episode.

Or hey, connect with me on Instagram @Paul Salter coaching. I’d love to hear from you. Say hi, tell me your favorite food, how you found me, or one random fact about you. Let’s get to know one another and get back to just building solid connections and relationships because that is what living a life to the fullest is all about. All right, let’s transition into our simplified deconstructed four C process to building limitless confidence so that we can accomplish all we desire in this world. I’m going to go ahead and share these four Cs and then back up and begin by further diving into and explaining what they mean and how to truly check the box for this step so that you can ensure that you are well on your way to executing all of these steps to feel and build more confidence. And those steps are as follows, Commit commence, consistency, I know I had to just adjust that one, and competency. Commit, commence consistency, competency.

If we check these four boxes, we will undoubtedly develop massive amounts of self confidence. And the beautiful thing about this incredibly simple formula is, you can apply it to your nutrition, you can apply it to your exercise, you can apply it to your finances, to learning a new skill, to reading a book, to working on your romantic relationship, your friendships. Every aspect of life. We want to feel and exude more confidence and this model does not discriminate. It can be applied to any and all areas of our lives. So, as we dive in today, I want you to pause momentarily and simply reflect what is one area in your life right now that you desperately desire to feel more confidence? Is it your financial health and budgeting? Is it learning a new skill so you can earn that promotion at work?

Is it making it to the gym consistently? Meal prepping consistently? I don’t know, but get really clear on an area of your life that you want to have more confidence. So what that does is simply clarify where am I going to work towards getting more confidence? And the first step in this process is, you’ve got to commit. And when I say and think about the word commit, that means I am all in. I’m not one foot in, one foot out, I don’t have a plan B in the back of my mind. I’m not already thinking about what if this doesn’t work? What if I don’t achieve this goal? I am all in without any excuse or opportunity or dwindling thought creeping into the background of my mindset. I am already committed and focused on how great I am going to feel, how confident I’m going to feel as a result of being in.

Because the truth is if you do not commit fully with every ounce of your being, if you are not all in, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Because, now… Let’s use a simple example. Maybe you’re 70% committed. You know what that 30% energy that’s not committed is doing? It is finding every excuse, past memory and story it possibly can, to convince you to quit because inevitably this goal you have in mind, this feeling of confidence that’s been elusive in a particular area of your life is going to require some changes that place you outside of your comfort zone. And if you are not all in, your mind will run amok even more than it naturally would and try to convince you, gift you excuses to not do the work to make the change and experience the confidence that you both desire and deserve.

So you have to commit, which begins with getting crystal clear on where you want to develop more confidence and going further, what does that confidence feel like? What does that confidence look like? What self talk goes on in your mind? What beliefs and stories are replaying in your mind and what emotion is behind this commitment? Now obviously we want to feel more confident, but let’s get really clear on how we’re feeling right now in this very moment. Because one of the biggest mistakes that so many of us make, myself for the longest time, is when it comes to setting a goal, which in this case, let’s say I want to gain more confidence in my physique, in my health. So I want to commit to going to the gym three times per week.

Well, the mistake that so many of us make is we set these goals when we are currently stuck in a lack or scarcity mindset, being driven by fear. So we’re infusing a ton of negative energy and emotion into these goals, which does not set ourselves up for success. So in order to change our psychology of a big believer in the words of the wise Tony Robbins, to change our psychology, we need to change our physiology. So when it comes to goal setting right now, hell, if you’re moving already, great, but start moving, getting some positive energy and Vibes going, jump up and down, walk, jumping jacks, squats, pushups, shaking whatever it is, dancing, put on a good song real quick, let’s change your state so we can cultivate a state of mind that is rooted in abundance, excitement, and hope. And then get crystal freaking and clear on what goal it is we want to set. We have a clear why behind it.

And now we can move into step number two, commence, which is just a simple synonym for freaking start get started. And for many of us, this might prove to be the most challenging aspect of this four step model because starting is going to require two things that work against us. Number one, it’s going to require you to be outside your comfort zone because if this action step was in your comfort zone, you probably would be doing it already. So therefore, anytime we step outside of our comfort zone, we’re going to work against some inevitable resistance, friction or self sabotaging thoughts and behaviors, but we need to push forward.

And number two, the amount of energy it will take you to get started is far greater than the amount of energy needed to keep going. So we have this huge requirement of activation energy, but you just need to start. And by start, the way to set yourself up for success here is to start with the tiniest action step you can possibly take to begin moving in the direction of satisfying what it is you committed to. The tinier the better because that gives you an opportunity to accumulate a quick win that can slowly but surely have a snowball effect into building some strong fucking positive momentum.

So we need to start. Start tiny and do everything in your power to control or reshape your environment to make it easy to start. Set your gym clothes out the night before. Set 15 reminders on your phone. Tell your significant other, your best friend, your accountability buddy to call you, text you, check in on you as to whether or not you went to the gym, you did your meal prep, you checked in with your finances, managed your budget, you spent 20 minutes studying a new language or a new skill. Whatever it may be, make it incredibly simple to start. Let me take another sip of coffee before we keep moving.

Number three, consistency. We need to accumulate consistency. So we’ve started with the tiniest task possible to begin honoring our commitment and what happened? We followed through. That’s a win. We should celebrate that win. Let’s build off of this positive momentum. Let’s ride out the heightened motivation we have right now and do it all over again tomorrow or whatever and whenever that next opportunity is. Because now that we’ve committed to something, and we’ve commenced action toward it, and we begin to accumulate consistency, you know what happens? Consistency breeds competency.

Now all of a sudden, our belief has already begun to change because prior to going through this four step model, we had this belief that we can’t make it to the gym three times per week consistently or meal prep twice per week, learn this new skill 20 minutes a day, three times per week. Whatever it may be that you’re looking to build more confidence in. But through committing, commencing and then acting consistently, we breed competency. Now we believe in ourselves. We’re learning this new skill. We’re making progress, we are seeing, feeling, experiencing, being our results. And if you put all these together, you commit, you commence, you’re consistent, you build that competency that is the four ingredient recipe to begin building massive amounts of confidence.

We have built this perpetual positive flywheel cycle that continues to give back to us and help us accumulate more and more confidence through the beautiful principle of compounding confidence due to commitment, commencing, consistency and competency. That is the four step model to build an abundance of confidence. And I want nothing more than for you to feel more confident in every aspect, every area of your life and trust me when I say, if you are able to check these boxes, implement what it is I have shared with you in today’s episode, you will begin feeling more confidence in whatever area of your life you desire at an accelerated rate. And I am rooting for you every single step of the way. And I cannot thank you enough for tuning in to another episode of The 5% Way podcast. Thrilled that you were here, whether you’re a new listener, longtime listener, or just getting started a couple months in, thank you so much.

And as I mentioned earlier, I invite you say hi, reach out and connect with me on Instagram. And if you found today’s episode valuable, share it with a friend, family member, or loved one who you know would greatly benefit from learning how to develop more confidence in his or her life. And if you haven’t done so already, it truly means the world to me if you would take 30 to 60 seconds to leave a genuine rating and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you are listening to this episode, thank you again for listening. Have a wonderful rest of your day and I’ll see you in the next episode.